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Why The Hell Are You Here Teacher

Why The Hell Are You Here Teacher

Written by Dan Barnett on 14 Jul 2021


Distributor MVM • Certificate 18 • Price 29.87


The great Robin Williams once said 'erotic is using a feather, porn is using the entire chicken'. Whilst Why the Hell Are Your Here Teacher? may not be actual porn, the chicken is definatley limbering up and maybe sticking a leg out through the gap in the curtain! If you've been feeling a distinct lack of naked norks in your life, this show will certainly fill the void.

The plot, as far as it goes, is supposed to be a bit of a forbidden love story between students and their teachers' breasts...er,that is their teachers. In practise however there really isn't much more to it than that. The characters are really just broad archetypes - the guy who looks like a bad boy, the shy one, the energetic one etc - and little is done throughout the series to give much in the way of character development. At the end of the day the girls are there to find a series of random ways to have their clothes fly off and the guys are there to be embarrassed when they see it happen.

Given the minimalism of plot and character, this kind of show has to live and die based on how well it manages to be funny and erotic. In terms of the former, well that’s pretty much a fail. Whilst there are a few mildly amusing moments, by now there have been so many shows pulling every single gag that’s attempted here (and frankly most of them have been done better) they just aren’t all that funny any more.

On the other hand, whilst the series certainly keeps trying to kill the mood (seriously, another series where a woman lets a random guy give her a suppository? There’s no reason she can’t shove it up her own bum!), there are admittedly a few parts - bits - instances, ahem, where the series does manage to hit the right buttons. This is in large part thanks to the animation from Tear Studio which is miles better than it has any right to be. Sadly it is still missing the one thing that most fan service shows always leave out - the ah, follow through shall we say, which would actually mean that all the episodes of quasi-foreplay would actually have some kind of pay-off, but then few shows bother to take the final step.

There really is little more to say about the show which is so insubstantial once you leave the bosom area. Even the opening title sequence is nothing else and has so many knockers in it that it must have been all but unbroadcastable on Japanese TV. Unless you want a show featuring more gloriously animated funbags than you can shake your...that is, a stick at, or fodder for a very boozy drinking game there’s little here to get stuck into. (Oh dear, I feel like such a boob now…)

5
A meandering melody of melons

Dan Barnett
About Dan Barnett

Dan first encountered anime at the ripe old age of six with a VHS copy of Laputa. Ten years later he re-discovered it in Robotech and overnight a DVD collection was born.


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