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Old 25-01-2005, 09:42 AM   #1
Mr.Priest
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Default got a Joke... (big read)

Ok, so this guy walks into a bar somewhere in florida and see's this gigantic jar of money sitting on a stool, he looks at it amazed and then pesters the bartender about it, the bartender says that "every year we host a challenge for adults here for one night only, if you successfully pass all three tests you can just simply walk away with the money, but no one has ever past all three tests in the history of the bar's opening" he finally warns...

After much thought the guy finally decides he's gonna go for it himself.

The bartender explains "for the first test you have to down this large bottle of whiskey in one, you cant faint, throw up, cry or anything that involves the paramedics. (otherwise you fail)"

"For the second test, you must work your way outside the bar to the right and remove the bad tooth from my pet Aligator's mouth, she should be in the cage outside."

"And finally for the third test, you must walk up stairs to the second floor of this bar and successfully make love to the prostitiute in the room at the top of the stairs. *this has all been arranged for the one night only*"

So sure enough, the guy go's to the bar and downs the rather large bottle of whiskey and starts to twitch a little as he hobbles to the main entrance to make his way to the Aligator's cage.

After alot of thrashing and insane screams of agony being heard from outside the bar, the man hobbles back inside with tears in his eyes, his clothes have been ripped to buggery and for the most part you could see blood dripping from every part of his body from what you once knew as flesh.

He discreetly wobbles up to the bar and plants himself next to the bartender on a stool and shouts at the top of his voice...

"Alright!!! where's this chick with the bad tooth!?!?"
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Old 25-01-2005, 09:51 AM   #2
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Hehe, I was sort of expecting some mix-up after reading half of it ^^
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Old 25-01-2005, 10:22 AM   #3
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i got that impression from when i first read it.
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Old 25-01-2005, 12:57 PM   #4
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LOL although i thought something like that was going to happen, it still surprised me, good one Priest
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Old 25-01-2005, 02:34 PM   #5
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lol that's a good 'un.
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Old 25-01-2005, 02:53 PM   #6
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They should put that in a cracker.
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Old 25-01-2005, 04:16 PM   #7
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Blimming big cracker! Or they could write it around the brim of the paper hat I suppose.
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Old 25-01-2005, 08:13 PM   #8
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wangaaaa....

Jokers... bah humbug

Dunno, found this on teh iterwad...

Whilst enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he would like to come back to her place.

The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it.

Finally, the spent young bloke rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies.

Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the bloke begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?"

"No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered bloke.

Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That would be me before the operation.
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Old 26-01-2005, 10:58 AM   #9
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wrong but funny.
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Old 26-01-2005, 07:54 PM   #10
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^ that was great Loopz
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Old 26-01-2005, 09:42 PM   #11
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veeeery twisted. i like it.
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Old 27-01-2005, 04:21 PM   #12
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Brilliant...
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